The Best of Intentions
by TheMusicLives
Summary: Of course Damon wasn't allowed to have more than a night of peace with her, wasn't deserving of an ounce of her true love; it had to be some cruel trick of nature that caused her to admit her feelings. - Damon reflects on letting Elena go; cannon through mid-season finale, one-shot, Delena


**A/N:** I would say that I don't know where this came from, but Damon's been in my head since the mid-season finale. This is only my second TVD piece and I don't really count the first one, so please go easy on me? :)

This isn't beta'd because I literally just typed this one-shot out, read it, and am delivering it to you fresh out of the oven. I hope you enjoy my foray into the mind of Damon Salvatore. Title and lyrics are by Travis Tritt.

**WARNING: I don't own The Vampire Diaries. Oh, gosh, the things that I would do to Damon if I did...**

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~o~

The Best of Intentions

~o~

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Damon probably knows this better than anyone: caring only brings you pain.

The tenderest of all emotions can cut deeper than the sharpest blade that money can buy. And even though he'd spent a more than century pining for Katherine just to find out she couldn't care less about him, no agony would echo deeper than the one radiating through his body when he commanded Elena to go home without him.

He'd been living in some strange love-bubble, floating along with the woman he adored. Then came his brother with his sire-bond-conspiracy-theory-shaped pin to pop the shield of happiness he'd been existing in with Elena. And, as always, his little brother had been right.

Of course Damon wasn't allowed to have more than a night of peace with her, wasn't deserving of an ounce of her true love; it had to be some cruel trick of nature that caused her to admit her feelings. He couldn't have been right all along about the draw they had to each other, the flames that burned beneath the surface of every conversation they had.

This torturous turn of events only proved what he'd suspected for so long: he wasn't worthy of happiness.

He'd prepared himself to let her go, as he should, but she'd been so sure of her own feelings the night before their trip to the lake. She'd begged him not to leave her, to believe what she felt was her own and not a side-effect of the bond between them. Because he couldn't deny her anything that would bring that elusive bright smile to her face, the one that had taken up permanent residence since she'd began waking up next to him, he'd given in to her request.

At her family's vacation home, surrounded by the memories that she'd made there with her family and with his brother, the strings holding together his resolve to ignore the bond began to unravel. As the moments ticked by he watched his Elena grow more confused by her own heart, the way that her emotions now conflicted with her actions of the past, the way that she was beginning to forget memories with his brother that were once dear to her.

Each time she doubted herself, the pressing need of what he needed to do cut Damon deeper. Knowing that he could have all he ever wanted with her, but never actually have her heart, was grating the rind off of the rotted carcass of his heart. The simple act of seeing her smile was becoming a source of anguish for him, because the happiness she felt with him was false.

He couldn't keep her freedom from her just so that he could love the least part of her. Damon wanted her heart for his own and, if he couldn't have it, then it was time to think about surviving this. He needed to be true to his word and do what was best _for her_.

It was time to set her free.

The moment the dreadful words began to leave his mouth, it was like a spell had dulled time. Each word made its way slowly from his lips to her ears, the muscles in her face reacting to them, her eyes growing incredibly sad... it made it almost impossible to finish. The words that he'd practiced on Charlotte, which were then pronounced with ease, felt like they were now sapping the life from him as heartbreak wrote itself across the love of his life's face.

The disbelief and abandonment warring for her expression made him think for a moment that he might take it back. But then he thought of how content she'd just been with her brother, how happy she could be again if they could succeed in finding the cure, and he stood his ground.

He only began to waver later, when he was walking her to the car. She was, once again, doubting herself, but it was her body's urge to leave him that she was fighting. The war between her heart and her head was back; his true Elena had returned to him just in time for her to leave.

It was in that moment, the one where she kissed him goodbye and her eyes pleaded with him to revoke his order to go, that Damon knew this would never be over. He might have the best of intentions right now - sending her away, just as he promised - but forever was a very long time for a vampire. There would come a day, whether they found the cure or not, that she would need him and he would come running. He really couldn't help himself when it came to her.

But for now he would watch Bonnie's Prius drive away, wrenching the remainders of his heart out, dragging it along the road. It was time to find out if he'd succumb to the pain this time, as he had before, or if loving Elena made him stronger, if it turned him into the better man that she'd always hoped he'd be.

He just had to remember that she was still counting on him... because he had a different Gilbert to watch over now.

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_some people think I'm a loser 'cause I seldom get things right,  
__but you make me feel like a winner when you wrap me in your  
__arms so tight; please tell me you will remember no matter how  
__much I do wrong that I had the best of intentions all along_

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**A/N: **What did you think? Am I getting tomatoes or marshmallows? I prefer the latter of the two... _  
_


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